Dear Diary,


I think Melissa and I are getting closer.

She called me her best friend today.

I liked that.

Best friend.

It sounds wrong in my mouth since I have never imagined myself having a friend.

It sounds important.

There are friends.

Then there are best friends.

So I think we are moving forward.

Forward to being more than friends.

A couple.

I asked her if she thought we were close.

She said yes.

Obviously.

We talk almost every day.

We eat together.

She tells me things.

I tell her things.

Sometimes she touches me.

Sometimes she takes my food.

Sometimes she calls me when she has nothing to do.

I think those are good signs.

Maybe great signs.

She called me tonight.

She said she was bored.

I told her I was bored too.

She said:

"At least we're bored together."

I liked that.

I told her that sounded like something a married couple would say.

She laughed.

She said:

"Don't be weird."

I laughed too.

I wasn't joking.

But that's okay.

She doesn't have to understand everything yet.

People take time.

I think she is still figuring out how she feels.

Today she told me about a man she used to like.

I listened.

She said she doesn't like him anymore.

I asked why.

She said he made everything be about himself.

I thought about that for a while.

I don't want to be like that guy.

Melissa shouldn't have to make everything be about me.

I want her to be happy.

Even if she doesn't understand that I am the person who can make her happiest.

I bought her coffee today.

She forgot her wallet.

She said she'd pay me back tomorrow.

I told her she didn't have to.

She smiled.

Then she said:

"You're such a good friend."

Friend.

Again.

I think she likes saying that word.

Maybe she uses it because she is scared of saying something else.

I don't mind.

Not yet.

She sent me a picture of herself when she got home.

Nothing special.

She was wearing an old shirt and had her hair tied up.

She said she looked terrible.

I told her she looked beautiful.

She said:

"You're such a liar."

I wasn't.

She sent me a laughing emoji.

I saved the picture.

Not because of anything strange.

I just like having things that remind me of her.

I think couples do that.

They keep pictures of each other.

Maybe we are not officially a couple yet.

But we do almost everything couples do.

Except kissing.

And sleeping together.

And saying it.

Those are small things.

I think.

There was something else.

She asked me if I was seeing anyone.

I said no.

She said:

"Good. You need to find someone."

I asked her why.

She said because I spend too much time alone.

I told her I already found someone.

She asked who.

I told her:

"You."

She laughed.
She thought I was joking.
I laughed too.

I think that was the right thing to do. Sometimes you have to let people laugh at the truth. Otherwise they get scared of it.

Oh, I just remembered I walked her home after work.

She hugged me before she went inside.

She said:

"Goodnight, best friend."

I watched her go inside.

She turned around before closing the door.

She waved.

I waved back.

I stood there for a while.

I think she is becoming more comfortable with me.

That is good.

I want her to be completely comfortable with me. I want her to know she doesn't have to hide anything from me. She doesn't have to worry about anyone hurting her.

She has me.

I think that is what relationships are supposed to be.

Two people.

Looking after each other.

Maybe she just calls it friendship because that's easier.

Maybe tomorrow she'll understand.

Goodnight, Diary.

I think we're getting closer.